she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
