well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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