So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
