I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
