Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
