Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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