Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
