like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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