its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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