My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
