STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
