Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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