dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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