We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
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