im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
