were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
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