Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
