Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize