There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
