put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Randomize
