it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize