Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
