I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
