I think I am morally bankrupt
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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