If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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