Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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