Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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