The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize