Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
