You're completely useless in the revolution.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
