My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
