just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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