I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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