this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Randomize
