I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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