News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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