You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
