Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I love you. Go after that dick
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Randomize
