i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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