Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
