i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
