i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
