This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
