Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
