i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
