Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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