Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
