The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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