so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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