i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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