I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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