I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize