I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
My feet surprised me
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
