C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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