brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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