i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
