my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
