do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
