no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize