on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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