Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
