i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
